"Lord, I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I feel so uncomfortable and awkward." I remember having those conversations with the Lord on a regular basis during a particular time in my life. At times, I'm sure it sounded more like whining.
It wasn't that I didn't know who I was as a BELIEVER. I just didn't know who I was as a MINISTER. Before you stop reading, YOU are a minister, as well as I am. I am called to a five-fold ministry, but ALL believers are called to minister.
In my case, my heart had stopped beating for one type of ministry and was longing for another. The problem was that my circumstances had not caught up with my heart.
The Lord began to speak to me about this one day as I took a walk with my husband along a pond. Right on the edge of the pond, I saw a school of tadpoles. I was fascinated that they were in different points in their development. That is when the Lord spoke to me.
"This is YOU. You are not who you used to be, but you are not who you are going to be yet. You are in 'transition.' Of course, it feels awkward."
He continued to tell me that many believers were also in this place of transition, and many of them would go back to where it was comfortable because they didn't understand the "awkward" feelings that they had.
Another time, the Lord showed me a train gliding down the tracks. Many people on the train were beginning to get nervous. They had been on this train so long. Maybe it was not going anywhere. So, they got off of the train before they reached their destination. Believers in transition often do the same.
The Israelites experienced transition as well. Their transition was the wilderness between Egypt and the Promised Land. They didn't handle it very well. They complained and whined, and in their hearts, they turned back to Egypt. (Acts 7:39) This was in spite of the fact that they were SLAVES in Egypt. Does that sound familiar?
If you find yourself in this uncomfortable place of transition, as I did. Here's what to do.
- Trust God's faithfulness! If He took you away from one shore, you can be sure that He will take you to the other side. You are not drifting. God knows what He is doing, and He is preparing you for the adventures that await you.
- Focus on Him instead of yourself. Gaze at Him. Worship Him. Remember that you are His beloved son or daughter regardless of the events of your life.
- Don't go back! What is behind you won't fit you anymore, anyway. Look ahead, with your hand in the Lord's hand.
- Rejoice! God knows nothing but victory. He has a new place for you.
I pray that God infuses you with new courage and hope right now as you read this. He is that kind of Father.
More accounts of my transition into healing ministry can be found in my book "Everyday Miracles" found on this website and on Amazon.com.